


precious future

by pseudocitrus



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, F/M, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 19:16:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3702797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pseudocitrus/pseuds/pseudocitrus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kimi just lost her family, and suspects she’s being used by a guy who keeps asking her out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	precious future

**Author's Note:**

> prompted by an anon on tumblr who wanted some nsfw NishiKimi.
> 
> hope you all are having a good day; enjoy!

_I’d be happier if I died too._

She’s looking down at the drink she’s retrieved from a vending machine, and seeing it as if for the first time.

Weeks of watching everyone slide slowly away from her has made her feel like her sorrow and misfortunate has congealed into something solid in the air around her. A miasma. A moat.

And yet this strange fog has made some things so clear.

For example: life is meaningless. In one millisecond the only people she’d known for her entire existence were snuffed out as easily as blowing out a candle. All the hugs and fights and love they’d shared with each other had become nothing more than swiftly fading memories.

The plastic bottle she’s holding emits a crackling noise as her fist tightens.

_What’s the point of drinking this? What’s the point of sustaining my body? What’s the point of being alive, when death means nothing either?_

_People die so easily._

_And for no reason at all._

Her eyes narrow.

_I would be happier if I —_

“Hey,” she hears, and jumps. “You forgot your change in the machine.”

She turns, just in time to meet someone jogging toward her. She looks down the coins glimmering in the person’s palm, and then she raises her own hand up, stiffly. The coins are warm. The person is still talking.

“Are you a freshman? What’s your name?”

“It’s…Nishino.”

And somehow she ends up reciting her number too.

:::

Nishio-kun is always the one calling and making plans. When she has free time, they go out to movies, or go shopping; when she doesn’t, they study together wherever they find space on campus.

It’s so easy to be around him — effortless, in fact. In a past life she knows she would have been pleased. Now, she’s just aware that she, the sad and pitiful girl whose family died in a freak plane accident, is being used.

She stands in front of her mirror, head bowed.

_I might as well get it over with._

One day they decide to watch a movie in his apartment, and Kimi suggests one after the other, enough to last through sunset. They clear away the empty coffee cans from his bedside table and replace them with more. Kimi nibbles on popcorn, and gets closer and closer to him, until she’s lying against him, until his arm is around her shoulders. When the credits finally roll, it’s to an unusual silence. Kimi waits, and when he doesn’t make a move, she sits up and hooks one leg over his body, so she is sitting in his lap. His eyes are wide behind his glasses, and she kisses him, sliding her tongue easily into his slack mouth.

The kiss only lasts a second before he grabs her shoulders and pushes her off his face.

“Wh — _what are you doing?!_ ”

The blood rushes to her face so fast that it’s painful. He looks genuinely stunned.

“Wh-what?” she stammers. “I — I — I thought that you wanted — that you wanted to — you know.”

“Nishino, wh-when the hell did I _ever_ say that?”

“You don’t need to say it! It’s obvious!” Kimi protests. “You keep hanging out with me, and...”

She trails off, and then sets her hand on his crotch indicatively. Nishio flinches, and she yanks her hand back.

“S-sorry — did I hurt you?”

“No, it’s just — _shit_ — it’s just that I — _shit_.”

He’s getting redder. He takes off his glasses so that he can rub his face. He looks furious.

_I made a huge mistake._

It feels like her heart has stopped.

_I’m so stupid. I’m so stupid, and useless —_

She clambers off of him.

“I-I’m really sorry, Nishio-kun,” she manages with a shaking voice. “I’m really sorry. I’ll leave.”

“Nishino —”

“Please don’t worry, I won’t bother you again —”

 _“Nishino, stop.”_ He grabs her hand, and gives her a tug so that she’s sitting back on his bed. “Don’t go. It’s not your fault, okay? It’s that I’m...”

He sighs, grimaces. Finally he admits it, in a grumble. “I just haven’t done it before.”

She stares at him. “Really? But...but you...”

But it’s so fun to be around him. Such easy, too-perfect dates aren’t really the mark of an inexperienced person. Or so she’d thought.

Maybe, she realizes, _that’s_ why he was hanging out with her — so he could finally get rid of his virginity. She risks a glance up at him and sees that he’s staring determinedly at the floor.

She smooths out part of the blanket on his bed, trying to think of a good way to pose the question, and then decides she might as well ask straight out.

“So, do you want to do it, then?”

His lips purse, and the flush extends to his neck. _He really is a virgin,_ she thinks, and finds herself smiling, just a little.

“Whether you want to or not is fine, Nishio-kun. But if you do, please don’t be embarrassed. It’s just a natural part of being human.”

He snorts. “Being human, huh.”

She waits. He takes a deep breath.

“Well...I guess...there is something I’ve always wanted to do.”

“What is it?”

Nishio’s voice quiets. “I'd like to...taste you a little.”

That way of putting it is a little...unexpected. Despite herself, Kimi feels a blush crawling over her cheeks. “Y-you can do that. Sure.”

She stands, and, as he watches, she removes her clothing, piece by piece — blouse over her head, skirt over her hips. She steps out of her underwear, and steps toward him.

“Could you take off your shirt?” she asks, and he blinks.

After some hesitation, he does it. He's a pretty good-looking guy, if a little thin. She takes his hands and places them just beneath her breasts, and sighs encouragingly as he inches his palms up and squeezes. She leans, and starts to sit in his lap again.

“W-wait,” he says. “Maybe it would be better if you were on the bed.”

“Ah...okay.” Kimi crawls, positioning her head on his pillows, stretching out. She reaches out to him, and he settles between her legs, his chest hot and firm against her belly. He glances up at her, and then down at her nipples, which have already become stiff from a combination of the room's chill and his encompassing gaze. His tongue curls around the left one, carefully, and then he closes his mouth over it and gives it a gentle suck.

She gasps; she can’t help it. Goosebumps rise across her body and her legs lift up around him, knees and toes bent. He sighs and sucks a little harder, and he releases her the skin of her nipple is vivid, and gleaming with saliva. He goes for the next one with less trepidation than the first, and this time when he sucks, his hands squeeze and roll her breasts until her back arches and her nails dig into his shoulders. The second nipple, when he releases it, seems to stand even taller than the first. Nishio glances up at her, eyes hazy, and she swallows.

“S-so, how does it taste?” Kimi asks, breathless. He snorts, a little.

“Way better than ice cream,” he murmurs, and begins moving downward, licking at the curve beneath her breasts, and along every rib, and against the trembling skin of her belly. His hair tickles her skin. Kimi feels her breath shortening as he goes even lower. Surely he won’t — probably a virgin wouldn’t have any interest in — right?

She holds her breath as he thumbs apart the lips of her sex and breathes across the throbbing flesh there. She spreads her legs for him, wide, both disbelieving and flooded with want. It’s been so long since she’s been close to another person, so long since her body felt anything good, Nishio presses just the tip of his tongue beneath her clit and she feels herself flare to life.

_“N-Nishio-kun —”_

He doesn’t need further encouragement. He braces his hands beneath her butt and she feels him grip it as he laps every centimeter of her, up and down along each lip and then inside, tongue dipping and stroking deeper and deeper. Her fingers thresh in his hair, hard, as his groan reverberates through her. She’s never been given attention like this, devoured so completely that all of her thoughts are turning into mush and desperation in her throat. Her hips rise against him and all too soon she is coming, crying out loudly and wordlessly, thighs quaking against him. He continues licking her throughout, and his even, relentless rhythm keeps her going even once she’s run out of breath to make noises with.

Afterward, Kimi lies limp, and panting. There’s a steak of moisture over her right cheek; her arm is resting in the bedside table, in the empty space vacated by several empty coffee cans when her spasms knocked them off. Nishio straightens, licking his lips, and after a while she rolls herself underneath a blanket while he cracks open another can of coffee.

She breathes, deeply. _He has to be lying about never having done it before,_ she thinks. Just another strange strategy to woo the orphaned plane crash girl.

“It’s a pretty good name,” he says abruptly, and she starts.

“…huh?”

Her name, he means. “Who thought of it?” he asks. “Your mother? Or, your father?”

She blinks — first in astonishment, and then to suppress tears that she quickly denies having.

:::

The next day, she dials his number.

“Kimi,” he says. “What’s up?”

She swallows. “There’s…there’s a festival tonight,” she says, slowly. “Um…do you want to get dressed up and check it out together? There’ll be a lot of good food.”

“Sounds like fun,” he replies, and something goes through her — a charge of something — that feels a lot like happiness. And anticipation.

She smiles into the receiver. “I happen to be someone who looks _really_ cute in a yukata, so please look forward to it, okay?”

He laughs. “Sure, sure.”

Ah, her cheeks are starting to hurt.

“See you, Nishiki-kun.”


End file.
